This ninja in Naruto is unscientific

Chapter 418 Conspiracy Theories

Number Two became more and more excited as he spoke, completely absorbed in these seemingly plausible conspiracy theories.

"The reason why Minato Namikaze, known as the Yellow Flash, has such a difficult Flying Thunder God Technique to deal with is because he laid out miniature chakra conduction wires throughout the underground of the Land of Fire!"

"Those specially made kunai are just a decoy; the real coordinates are those metal networks buried underground. As long as he's on the land of the Land of Fire, he can draw chakra from the ground at any time for unlimited instantaneous teleportation!"

"Finally, there's that Vice Minister of Finance named Nishikawa Tetsu. He actually revealed all his secrets to me. It seems he never intended to let me go in the first place!"

A deep sense of apprehension flashed in the eyes of the second White Zetsu.

"That information broker said that Nishikawa Tetsu's background is extremely mysterious, and even the Third Hokage doesn't fully know his background."

"All the business plans he implemented in Konoha were ostensibly for making money, but in reality, they were secretly collecting bio-chakra data from civilians and ninjas throughout the Land of Fire through those home appliances and power grids."

"The supercomputer beneath the Konoha Science Research Institute has established a vast database of human data. If Nishikawa Tetsuya so desires, he can use those electronic devices to indiscriminately control the entire village's minds at any time!"

"Furthermore, he also revealed his information, saying that Nishikawa Tetsu came from a world called Earth, and that our world is actually a manga called Naruto. That's terrifying."

After delivering this long string of seemingly deceptive yet logically consistent "top-secret intelligence," White Zetsu Number Two let out a long breath and looked at Number One next to him, whose expression gradually froze.

"How about it? Were you shocked by these truths? The waters of Konoha's upper echelons are unfathomable!"

"..."

White Zetsu Number One remained silent for several seconds.

Then, his unrestrained, maniacal laughter erupted from the containment pod.

"Hahahaha! You idiot, you've been scammed and you don't even know it, hahahahaha!"

Number One laughed so hard that tears almost streamed down his face, and even the iron chains binding him shook violently.

"What are you laughing at! This is all top-secret intelligence that I painstakingly collected!" Number Two roared.

"Secret my foot!"

Number One finally managed to stop laughing, looked at the patient next to him who had been tricked into becoming crippled, and sighed.

"You believe this nonsense that our world is a comic book world? I seriously doubt your intelligence."

Number Two argued, "But... but when he impersonated an information broker, he said that Nishikawa Tetsu already knew about Madara-sama's Infinite Tsukuyomi Plan. If that's not true, how did Nishikawa Tetsu know?"

"Furthermore, he also said that Black Zetsu is actually Kaguya Otsutsuki's son, and not Madara-sama's will at all; Black Zetsu has been lying all along..."

"How is that possible!" Number One interrupted Number Two.

"Brother, you have no idea who Nishikawa Tetsu is. This guy is a complete liar. Even Orochimaru calls him Little Fox. You can't believe a word he says."

"Besides, I actually spent a considerable amount of time in Konoha's new district before I was arrested!"

Number One's eyes became somewhat unfocused, even carrying a hint of nostalgia.

"There are no spatial traps there at all. There are wide streets, lights that can be turned on without chakra, and those metal boxes called elevators. You can stand inside and 'whoosh' up to the floor. It's very comfortable."

"Most importantly, there are countless delicious desserts there! That thing called ice cream, it's icy cold and sweet to the core! I also bought a magical device called a 'massage chair,' just lie down, press a button, and it massages every bone in your body until it feels tingly and numb, it's simply a heavenly experience!"

Number One became more and more excited as he spoke, as if he had returned to the happy times of his crazy shopping spree.

"I was thinking, Madara works so hard in the underground caves every day, he can't even have a hot dessert, and his back has always been bad. I even bought several large storage scrolls to pack up all the delicious food, useful items, and even two very erotic books called 'Make-Out Paradise,' to take back as a gift for Madara!"

At this point, Number One's tone became extremely disappointed and heartbroken.

"What a pity... Just when I was about to make my escape, that pervert Orochimaru stopped me. All those ice creams and massage chairs fell to the ground. I wonder if Orochimaru picked them up..."

"..."

The second White Zetsu was stunned, his brain completely shutting down.

"Ice cream? Massage chair? 'Make-Out Paradise'?"

He looked at the patient next to him, whose face was full of regret, as if he had missed out on millions, and for a moment he didn't know how to react.

"You...you, as the ultimate weapon created by Lord Madara, infiltrated Konoha just to buy all this nonsense?!" Number Two asked in a trembling voice.

"What do you mean by 'nonsense'? This is called caring for elderly people living alone, don't you understand?!" Number One retorted confidently.

"It's over... If Lord Madara knew that the clones he sent out all had this kind of brain circuitry, he'd probably be so angry that he'd pull out the tubes and die on the spot."

Number Two closed his eyes in despair.

Number One retorted, "You're no less impressive! You were completely fooled by that brat Nishikawa Tetsu!"

Just then, footsteps were heard outside the explosion-proof glass of the containment capsule.

Immediately afterwards, with a soft "hiss," the motion sensor light outside the glass door turned on.

Orochimaru was wearing a white lab coat and carrying a tray with several syringes containing pale green life essence on it.

Beside him stood Hiruko, who was recording data in a small notebook.

Upon seeing the tray filled with the original liquid in Orochimaru's hand, the eyes of the first White Zetsu instantly turned fanatical.

"Lord Orochimaru! You've finally arrived!"

Like a drug addict seeing a savior, Number One struggled frantically, screaming hoarsely, "Quick! Give it to me! Give me another shot of that! Please!"

Meanwhile, the second White Zetsu looked at Orochimaru's cold, golden vertical pupils and felt a sense of humiliation welling up inside him.

"You bastards from Konoha... Lord Madara will never let you get away with this!" Number Two cursed through gritted teeth.

Orochimaru ignored Number Two's curses. He walked to Number One's containment pod, pressed a button on the control panel, and slowly injected a vial of life essence into the IV tubing inside Number One's body.

"ah--!!"

Number One let out an extremely pleasurable groan, a strange blush spreading across his pale face. He instantly fell silent, immersed in the false pleasure brought about by the rapid division of his cells.

Orochimaru nodded in satisfaction and turned to look at Number Two.

"Don't rush, it's your turn next."