The years I treated psychiatrists

Chapter 32 Greenland

"I'll go, I'll go." The cross-country backed away while staring at Bai Hua, "If you feel something is wrong, you must..."

"I'm calm now." Bai Hua's face has returned to calm, and her voice no longer fluctuates, she lowers her head and starts to clean up the dishes, "Let's go."

"Take a rest at home tomorrow, don't go to work, I..." The cross-country has already retreated to the door.

Bai Hua didn't respond, and didn't even look up at her.

"I'm leaving." Yue Yue gently pushed the door open.

When he walked outside the unit, he didn't dare to really leave, so he found a flower bed downstairs and sat down. He waited until it was time for Bai Hua to sleep, and saw that the upstairs lights went off on time, and then drove back to his home.

The next day, Bai Hua really didn't show up at the company, but cross-country became worried again. After hesitating for a long time, he still called Bai Hua.

"I'm not dead."

After Bai Hua answered the phone, she said something coldly, and then hung up the phone.

Li Tao was terrified by the gloomy atmosphere exuding off-road. He just reported to work in a regular manner all morning, and didn't dare to say a word.

Absently finishing another experiment, Yue Yue received another call from Su Ying.

"How did you agree to me at that time?" Su Ying asked in a low voice as soon as the call was connected.

"She went to work?" Yue Yue's heart suddenly rose again.

"Come here quickly!" Su Ying sounded very anxious.

Cross-country hastily informed Li Tao, then left anxiously, and drove to Bai Hua's consultation clinic.

Su Ying was already waiting for her at the gate of the clinic. Seeing Yue Yue running over anxiously, she stopped walking back and forth at the gate, and looked at her with her arms crossed.

"Where's she?" Before he ran up to him, Cross asked loudly.

Su Ying stretched out her hand and opened the door of the clinic, and turned her head to the side without looking at her. Su Ying noticed that Su Ying's eyes were also red.

Before he reached the door of the consultation room, the cross-country had already heard the faint cry from inside.She lowered her head, closed her eyes, raised her hand and knocked feebly on the door a few times:

"it's me."

There was a throbbing pain in his heart, Xia Xue felt that if Bai Hua was willing to open the door for her at this time, he would strangle her to death and she would recognize her.

It didn't take long before the door was slammed open. Before the cross-country could react, he was hugged by the disheveled white birch, and the clothes behind her were tightly clenched by her hands.

The heart that had been hanging in the crosshairs finally let go, and gently hugged the body that was trembling with sobbing.

"I yelled at you..."

With his face buried in the arms of the cross, Bai Hua's voice sounded muffled and a little vague, but the cross seemed to be directly hit in the heart by these four words, and there were waves of ripples in his heart.

Bai Hua still didn't raise her head, but her trembling gradually subsided, it was just because she cried for too long, she gasped from time to time:

"I can't control it, I really can't control it, I've killed enough people..."

"Then it's not missing me!" Xia Yue suddenly yelled loudly, and Bai Hua in his arms shook with her voice.

Only then did Yue Yue realize that his voice seemed a little louder, so he quickly patted Bai Hua on the back:

"Okay, okay, I'm back, we're even."

Bai Hua let go of the hand that was holding the back of the cross, pushed the cross away, looked down diagonally, her eyelashes were covered with teardrops, and her body was still twitching.

"Listen," Yue Yue put his hands on Bai Hua's shoulders, "I like you, it's my own business, everything I do is my own wishful thinking, and the consequences are also determined by God, you don't have to blame yourself."

Bai Hua still lowered her head, not looking at the off-road.

"Who do you think you are!" Cross-country raised his voice, and Bai Hua finally raised his head, looking at her with red eyes.

Cross Country slowly approached Bai Hua again, put his forehead on her forehead, and lowered his voice:

"You're not responsible for everyone's actions, and you can't be responsible for everyone's actions, understand?"

"There are still people here for consultation..." Bai Hua whispered in a nasal voice, turning her face away with some awkwardness.

Crossing his head, he saw two familiar people standing in the hall, about to perform familiar movements. When he saw crossing his head, he froze when he did the "communication" part, and was a little scared looking off-road.

"Don't bother, just say what you want to say, I'm not deaf."

The two quickly stood at attention, looking at the off-road at a loss, not daring to move.

"What's the matter? Haven't you seen a manic attack? Haven't you seen a lunatic confess? I'm a god-level VIP customer here who is heavy and anxious. I have reserved this person for the rest of his life. My sister will change your studio for you."

The two immediately breathed a sigh of relief as if they had been released from prison, looked at Bai Hua with understanding eyes, nodded to her in unison, and then ran to the door to ask Su Ying for help.

"You're the only one who can talk." Bai Hua lightly patted the cross-country shoulder.

Cross-country was hit by this punch, and hugged Bai Hua with a playful smile:

"It's not that my wife tuned/taught me well."

"Aren't you bothered?" Bai Hua let Xiao Xun hug her and muttered in a low voice.

After all, he finally coaxed his girlfriend back, and he was afraid for a while, thankful that he didn't lose the chain at the critical moment, and squeezed a sweat secretly.

Just lamenting his ill-fated fate, Bai Hua, who was across the dining table, suddenly asked indifferently while holding the vegetables:

"Xia, do you know why I'm angry?"

Well, it really wasn't that easy, and it looked like there was still a wave of aftershocks that had to be avoided.

Yue Yue secretly raised his eyes to look at the calm Bai Hua, and carefully chose the answer in his heart that he would not be beaten.

Bai Hua saw that the cross-country hadn't made a sound for a long time, put down his chopsticks, and looked directly at the cross-country:

"Have you ever heard of Greenland?"

Cross-country quickly turned into a quiet chicken, pecking at the rice sincerely, not daring to breathe.

"It is a place with very difficult living conditions. People on the island have to hunt for a living every day. In most cases, the daily prey can only maintain the living conditions of food and clothing. They may fall into the ice bank at any time and be swept away by the storm. The survival of the newborn is not even guaranteed."

"It sounds dangerous, but it can also be a passionate life."

Seeing that Bai Hua didn't point the finger at him, Xia Kui couldn't help but pick up the words:

"Some rich people still find this kind of stimulation for themselves. The old saying goes: born in sorrow, die in peace, such a life is not necessarily so bad, don't you also like this kind of life full of happiness? A wild and vigorous life?"

"Yes, their government is also proud of it." Bai Hua straightened her body, affirmed the off-road statement, and continued:

"Although they don't have any high-rise buildings, they are still alive and well. Social welfare is not too bad, medical insurance is free, there are social relief funds, and even the prison will provide very delicate three meals a day."

Cross-country listened intently to Bai Hua's description, and he really began to yearn for this place in his heart.

"But Greenland is the most depressed place in the world."

Hearing this sentence, Cross Country blinked his eyes to show his confusion.

"I know what you're wondering," Bai Hua continued, "There are many places in the world where the conditions are harsher than Greenland, and most people think that depression is unique to modern times, that it is the emptiness of life, or the weakness of the heart. a manifestation of

"I don't think..."

Just as Yue Yue wanted to defend herself, she didn't think that Bai Hua was weak, but Bai Hua interrupted her and continued:

"I'm just talking about what most people think. In fact, we are just luckier than those who don't live in modern times, have the opportunity to be diagnosed, and have the conditions to treat it. Back to the topic just now, you know why, Greenland is depressed. Is it a high incidence of disease?"

The cross-country was at a loss, and just stared blankly at Bai Hua.

"Because people who live on the island never tell others what's on their minds."

Xue pursed his lips, and finally understood the point of the conversation.

"In that kind of living environment, everyone has experienced the pain of losing their elders and children, and in their view, telling others about this move is also exposing other people's old scars, because others are already suffering. It's only getting worse."

"Even if you are in unbearable pain and have to talk to others, they will only avoid you like a snake. Because in their eyes, you are just a selfish loser who has been knocked down by life. They just spread their pain around."

Bai Hua said these words very calmly, but Xia Xue felt that the lights in the living room were dimmed, and he seemed to have become the Greenlander who was at a loss. Facing the cold eyes around him, he could only watch alone. own grief.

"This phenomenon is caused by the culture they have passed down. Even if they are asked about their current living conditions, they will only pass it on in a few words, because no one wants to be that dark cloud that blocks the sunshine of others."

"They see other people's misfortunes, and telling them when others are in pain, as a burden."

"I used to think so too." Bai Hua lowered her head when she said this, "That's why I broke up with Xu Nanshan at the beginning."

Cross-country's heart twitched. This person she had always wanted to mention but dared not mention was suddenly brought up by Bai Hua, so her heart was still a little sour.

"I just treat him as a normal friend, but he's bumping into me giving money to... my stepfather's son and then taking it upon himself to impose my pain on my mother, causing this emotion to spread like a plague .”

"At that time, I hated myself, my stepfather's son, and Xu Nanshan, but I didn't want my emotions to affect others, so I let myself... That way, I didn't let others get close."

Bai Hua's voice began to tremble, and Xia Yue stood up, walked slowly behind Bai Hua, bent down and hugged her, Bai Hua raised his right hand, and held the left arm on her shoulder instead.

"But then, after seeing the research on Greenland, I figured it out and forgave him."

Crossroads listened silently, without speaking.

The author has something to say:

I read this about Greenland in non-fiction literature, and I was really shocked. To put it lightly, it’s a bit like the feeling of wronging yourself in order not to trouble others. This kind of thinking in Greenland is already a kind of pathological extreme. But now it has improved. The book I read mentioned that the author went there personally and helped them establish a private space, and a few specific people listened to them, although they still dare not talk to the people around them. Open up, but it's easier to talk to strangers.