Let's talk about love, okay?

Chapter 134

"Are there a lot?" Zhang Zehao said indifferently, "There are only a few of them, and there are still many heterosexuals in comparison!"

"Hey, you're right in saying that, maybe it's just that I have more contacts." Aunt Zhang was thoughtful, and after a while, she boasted again: "You are such a good boy, you said everything first."

"I can't bear to lie to a kind elder like Aunt Zhang." Seeing that the two of them really didn't reject him, a warm current surged in Shen Yang's heart.He picked up his chopsticks again and murmured, "Your home is so warm."

"So it's home!" Aunt Zhang laughed.

Family.

Shen Yang's nose was a little sore, looking at the two elderly people at the dining table, and at the simple and warm home, as an outsider, he also had a feeling of "returning".He was suddenly very jealous of the real son of this family, what a lucky man he was to meet such parents!

Unlike him, he was born an ominous person.

Shen Yang never went home. Before he was seven years old, he had only his grandma by his side. After he was seven years old, he began to eat endless days in the cafeteria alone.

At that time, he would also dream, dreaming that his father was actually as written in the book, he was just not good at expressing, in fact he would cover him with a quilt at night, mother just looked serious, she didn't really dislike him.

However, the dream will always wake up.

After the age of 15, Shen Yang even lost the expectation that "when he fell asleep, his parents and elder brother might sneak a look at him".

That was just his wish.

He didn't know what home was like, and he had never felt like one.

But now, in a strange family, he suddenly felt like coming home.This is a real home, where there is an enlightened and kind father and a warm and kind mother. This warm place made him feel at ease like a harbor, and he let go of his tense nerves in an instant.

Although they are not his biological parents.

But he has more care and smiles than his biological parents.

The two chatted for a while, Zhang Zehao put down his chopsticks, Shen Yang put down his chopsticks, Aunt Zhang rushed the two to the study, brought them each a glass of milk, and cleaned up the mess in the kitchen.

Shen Yang was very embarrassed, and asked the elder to wash the dishes after eating and drinking, what does it look like!However, thinking of his ending in the kitchen, and the room where Bai Pingyun said that he could only throw out new appliances and kitchen utensils if he couldn't repair them, he really didn't dare to cause trouble, so he followed Zhang Zehao into Zhang's house in despair with his backpack in his arms. study.

The Zhang family's study is not small, there is a huge desk by the window, Shen Yang stares blankly, Zhang Zehao's study is very similar to his office, but there are more bookcases.

"Sometimes, I have to take my work home to do it." Zhang Zehao casually explained the layout of the study, pointed to the sofa in the reception area and signaled Shen Yang to sit down, and said, "Tell me, why are you alone?" People sitting on the side of the road in a daze?"

"I... my friend is dead."

When talking about Zhang Yi at this time, Shen Yang was surprised to find that he was very calm.

Perhaps it was because the house was so warm that he couldn't help but relax.

He sat there and talked eloquently, telling about the details of himself and Zhang Yi since they met, about half a month ago, she would rather break up the relationship and insist on leaving the hospital to go home, and about what he heard about her death today.

The story should be longer, but life is short.

As time passed by, the story about Zhang Yi in Shen Yang's mouth gradually came to an end, and he suddenly discovered that Zhang Yi's life was not enough to tell for half an hour.

Too bad.

During Shen Yang's narration, Zhang Zehao did not express any opinions, nor did he have any guiding hints. Shen Yang raised his head several times because he felt that he was too disturbing to the other party, and when he tried to end the conversation, he found that Zhang Zehao was listening to him very seriously. .

Slowly, he was no longer anxious, and poured all the emotions that had been suppressed in his heart, hesitation, restlessness, confusion, puzzlement, and helplessness, to Zhang Zehao, and poured them into this study.

After talking about Zhang Yi, Shen Yang talked about his master, his grandma, his parents who had severed ties, his brother's illness, and when he learned that the donor was him, he was asked to add an AIDS test. Finally, The mother even ruthlessly exchanged a car for the kidney he donated...

Ah!

"I understand everything, I understand all the reasons, and I can understand it. The problem is indeed with me. I am different from others, but I..." Shen Yang murmured to himself, "I don't want to be with you either. Others are different."

"I don't want to be born with double pupils, to look like a monster, to be intimidated by other people's eyes. I don't want to be gay, and I wonder why I'm not straight. I admire women, respect women, approve of women, But I just don't think that way about women... Is it my fault? I haven't done anything bad, I haven't even run a red light, but..."

"People are born without waiting." Shen Yang sighed, he couldn't tell whether he was confiding or counseling himself, whether he was listening to his own voice to explain himself, or sorting out his emotions.But such a scene cleared his mind, and this environment made him willing to spread out, discover, peel off, remove, suture, and then recover, just like performing an operation to remove a cancer on the operating table.

Even with scars, he is still a healthy self.

The more he spoke, the calmer he became, the clearer he spoke, and the calmer he spoke, and said: "There are different world situations going on in the hospital every day, and what I see the most is the sentence 'not waiting'. But I don't want to acquiesce in this kind of inequality." .”

"Because you were born a woman, you have to give birth to children at home and unconditionally dedicate yourself to taking care of the whole family? Because you were born with deformities, you have to be pointed at, bullied, discriminated against, discriminated against? Because you are gay, you have to be required to increase physical examinations, otherwise even the organs Donations are—”

"I don't want to complain. Complaining will make me appear incompetent. But I... the secretary, I'm sorry. Why can even such a scumbag get away with the word 'husband' in a grandiose manner and get rid of all the faults? Second clean, and some people have to be obliterated from existence, they can only cover up and swallow their breath, as if everything is their fault?! But where is the fault of women? Where is the fault of deformity? Where is the fault of homosexuality? ? Don’t they all come out of the mother’s womb, and they are what they are born?”

"My master taught me a lot of social rules before he was alive, saying that we must abide by them, and only by obeying can we survive. I must admit that with these rules and experience, I have survived ten years without incident. If I did not abide by these rules, During the internship period, I have already been 'KO'ed by reality, branded as 'GAME OVER', and have since been eliminated. But I..."

"The more I abide by it, the more sad it becomes. These social rules are like the deformed magic spell on Sun Wukong's head, which binds his body and destroys his soul. They are simply bastards! I don't like it, and I feel more and more The more I hate this high-sounding filth."

Finally said this sentence!

It is much more comfortable to say it!

He feels good all over!

Shen Yang exhaled deeply the breath that had been suppressed in his heart, and looked up at Zhang Zehao.That's right, he hated this kind of high-sounding filth, hated these hypocritical selfish differences.

The latter still had his chin propped up, and he had been listening carefully to his words for a few long hours.

Shen Yang suddenly became shy, smiled slightly, and said gratefully: "I'm sorry Secretary, you are so busy, and I wasted your precious time because of such a small matter of mine."

"I figured it out now? It's much faster than I imagined. Your self-healing ability is very good." Zhang Zehao slightly rolled the corner of his mouth, and said, "Everyone's time is precious. If my time can be exchanged for the people To return to an excellent doctor, I am willing to do this exchange several times."

"Thank you for listening to me." Shen Yang nodded to indicate that he had figured it out.

Yes, he figured it out.

No matter how many people died, he was not dead yet.

He's alive, that's more than anything else.

If society is a huge chessboard, and everyone is a pawn in it, then no one can bring back those who have been eliminated.As for those pieces that are still on the board, since they are not out, they must still have their own functions.

I haven't been out yet, Shen Yang said to himself, so I must still have a role in my own existence.

It's just... what role this unknown life can play and what role it will play, this is what he should be most clear about.

"You're welcome, I just listened and didn't teach you anything," Zhang Zehao said.

He didn't ask Shen Yang what he was thinking, what he wanted to understand, and he didn't ask him what plans he had in the future. It seemed that this was just a psychological counseling given by Shen Yang himself, and he was just someone he was willing to confide in. A pair of ears that he is willing to tell him, a tree hole that he is willing to share the secrets in his heart.

All he does is listen.

"It's great to have a father like you." Shen Yang envied him from the bottom of his heart, he almost twisted and wanted to hate Zhang Zehao's son, it's really hateful, why didn't he meet such a father?

But who in this world can pick their parents?

Whichever family is born into is that family. No child can choose his parents, just like no parent can choose his child.

He said sincerely: "Many parents interfere too much."

In fact, Mr. Yin is already a parent who can let go, and he doesn't restrain him at all.But Mr. Yin is a teacher after all, he is a "living fossil" on the other side of the "teaching road", so he is destined to be a person who "teaches and educates" deeply.When the two were talking, Shen Yang could clearly feel that Mr. Yin would always guide him involuntarily, giving him the right direction and guidance.

He is also an open-minded parent, but Shen Yang can't feel this kind of feeling from Zhang Zehao at all. He is more open-minded than him.

"My son doesn't like me like this very much. He thinks I don't care about his performance." Zhang Zehao suddenly smiled and scolded: "That bastard, when he talks to me here, he always looks businesslike. , come to me to negotiate, just like what I owe him."

"..." Although the children are all debt collectors, Shen Yang doesn't know the "asshole" that Zhang Zehao said. , the mood is very good.

He loves his "damn thing".

This is probably the pride and disgust of a father when he talks about his son.At this moment, he is not a secretary, he is just a father, a father who feels that no matter how good his son is, he is not enough, a father who is proud of his son no matter how bad he is.

"It's getting late, stay here," Zhang Zehao said, standing up, not allowing Shen Yang to refuse, leading him out of the study, pointing to the small bedroom next to the study, and said: "My son's room, the bed may be a bit small. My wife cleans up every day, but the child is getting older, and he can't sleep a few times a year."

Shen Yang no longer refused, and walked into the small bedroom with his backpack in his arms.

After entering, Shen Yang couldn't help laughing, secretly thinking that he didn't blame his son for not coming back to sleep.There is a bunk bed for children in the room, and the guard rails are polished. He can almost see a boy climbing up and down here, slowly growing into a teenager, a youth...

The bed was really small, but very warm.

The head of the bed is against the wall, and there is a children's bookcase at the end of the bed, which is full of books.There is a writing desk under the bookcase, with a blue desk lamp on it, and a sticker of Transformers on the lampshade.

On the other side of the window, there is the same children's bookcase connected to the writing desk.

two sons?

Twins?

Shen Yang was suspicious for a while, the old secretary did not pass birth, and he would not take the lead in passing birth. Although he had not seen any reports about the old secretary's son, he had not heard that the old secretary had two sons.Judging from the words of the two of them, Shen Yang can be sure that they really only have one son, but why is this children's room filled with the atmosphere of two children? It seems that there are scenes of two boys playing and laughing everywhere.

really weird!

Shen Yang lay on the lower bunk, opened the quilt to cover himself, the quilt was his favorite blue, and there was a blue doraemon on it, with his mouth open and laughing, Shen Yang couldn't help laughing, suddenly remembered Bai Pingyun who had been used as a doraemon all along .

He took out his phone, turned it on, and took a picture.