webnovelvip Chapter 68 Reality
Chapter 68 Reality
"Why do you suddenly want to confess to me?"
Gu Yunkai was actually a little tired, after all, it was midnight instead of noon, Jian Yuan's hands were relaxed on his waist, he shrank himself tiredly, his long legs struggled under the quilt After a while, I shrunk myself to Jian Yuan's chest, probably because I paid too much attention to health preservation and work and rest rules. At this moment, in addition to the pleasure of accepting the confession message, the only thing left in the brain is the body's order to sleep well.
Judging from Jian Yuan's high energy in the past, if he really wanted to start having sex, he would probably fall asleep suddenly in the middle of it, no matter if it was the sleeping party or the sleeping party.
That's even worse, maybe they broke up within 3 minutes of dating because of a disharmonious physical relationship.
Thanks to Jian Yuan for being an innocent and good boy, not to say that Gu Yunkai needs to plan everything, but it is really not a wise choice to be called up at midnight and then accept the confession and have a crazy sex.
"Not suddenly."
Jian Yuan was still awake, he murmured.
When I saw you talking to other people at the reception but couldn't say anything, I knew something needed to change, because friends are not jealous, and they can't be jealous. People can have many, many friends, and they can joke around You can talk about who you have a good relationship with, but that emotion will not make people angry, at least they are not friends, and friends should not be angry.
I can't be the first person you think of when you win an award and want to share it. If you want to give a gift, the reason is a friend's congratulations and not someone more special. Like your smile on anyone, everyone All have the politeness and politeness in it, just like the friends you have, everyone can celebrate the joy of success for you.
But I want to be the person you think of when you really want to express your joy.
I am different to you, and my gifts are also different. The smiles you give to others are completely different from those you give to me.
I want to be unique like this.
Gu Yunkai snorted softly on his chest, in a meaningless voice, and muttered: "You don't even know what I have prepared for this matter, you stole my limelight, if you want to confess, you must at least be That kind of... well, forget it, I haven't had time to plan yet. I'm just... you're dressed so formally and I'm only wearing pajamas, do you know how many suits and bow ties I have and ordered flowers. "
They didn't run to Gu Jianyue's room, did they?
Gu Yunkai, who was already a little unconscious, was confused and dazed. He was too absorbed in the kiss just now, so he didn't pay much attention to the layout of the room. It can be said that walking up the stairs without incident is already a feat, so he squinted. After looking hard at the furnishings of the room, Gu Jianyue's room was completely in the style of a hotel, the kind that no one had ever lived in before.
"It's okay, you are always so good-looking, no matter what you wear."
Jian Yuan said softly, Gu Yunkai is warm and a bit heavy, but probably the whole world is like this, if he wants to get this person, he has to work hard.It didn't take Gu Yunkai a few minutes to fall asleep, Jian Yuan didn't know anything, he just hugged this person and babbled like a broken mouth: "The first time I saw you, I thought you were pretty. , you are calm and rational, different from others, and so patient..."
"No matter what I like, you will like it too. No matter how I mess around, you will tolerate me. Even if I willfully ask you to stay that day and say that I don't have a car, you just follow me." Jane Yuan Yuan's fingers ran through Gu Yunkai's black hair, and he narrated unhurriedly, "When I was in San Glenco, I was thinking, if you existed in my little house, how should you be?" How nice we can have a fire, walk around the garden, and stay in the kitchen together and go through recipes..."
"Sometimes I almost thought you were really there." Jian Yuan hugged him tightly and whispered, "It seems that you will appear from any corner."
Only then did Jian Yuan realize that Gu Yunkai had fallen into a deep sleep. He lowered his eyes, serene and peaceful, so beautiful, like a god in a Renaissance fresco, or a song that made people feel happy and satisfied. song.His uneasiness and panic all day stopped at this moment, together with the joy and happiness that gushed out, he stopped quietly just like the wind quietly stopped.
This is not a dream.
He's not going to disappear like every hallucination I have, he's really here.
I got him.
Jian Yuan suddenly felt relieved, so he also quietly closed his eyes and fell asleep soundly.
Neither of them slept very well. When they fell asleep, they wrapped each other like silkworm chrysalis. By the next morning, they had already pressed part of the quilt against each other. Gu Yunkai hugged Jian Yuan in his arms, half of her The body is pressed against the opponent, like the shell of a hermit crab, full of protection and control.
Jian Yuan was so suppressed that he couldn't breathe. He struggled to pull himself out from under him, then put his arms around Gu Yunkai's waist, and buried him docilely in his chest, unconsciously wrapping his hands around the man, and just As if he had been used to it for a long time, he didn't have any resistance to the hands that strangled him, but just remained motionless quietly, allowing himself to be imprisoned in the arms of the opponent like an octopus.
It was at that time every day, Gu Yunkai strictly followed the biological clock to wake up, he rubbed his eyes, squinting a bit strangely, when the big doll Gu Jianyue bought was stuffed on his bed, he vaguely remembered that he had a nightmare In the early morning, Jian Yuan came to confess to him and other weird dreams.
how is this possible……
can……
Gu Yunkai looked at the cauliflower in his arms almost in horror, his heart beat violently uncontrollably, he didn't blink until he realized that he had been staring at the little curly hair for too long.
This is not a dream.
No.
Gu Yunkai let go of his arms lightly, and then carefully withdrew his pair from the four legs that were almost twisted, as if cutting them alive. The warmth felt when the limbs were separated. Dissipated in an instant.He fell down again, leaning on the pillow, looking at Jian Yuan who kept his previous posture unchanged, the other's hand on Gu Yunkai's waist had already fallen, unconsciously tightening the bed sheet, sleeping peacefully And peaceful.
This radiant, youthful angel; this charming, evil, daring demon.
He just stayed here, sleeping quietly, like the unique little prince who longed to be tamed, and also like the rose that the little prince cherished.The night flowed in his curly hair, and the light fell on each strand of hair, like the last afterglow of a falling star, shining brightly and swaying gently in the morning wind.
Gu Yunkai couldn't hold back, leaned over and kissed the other person's forehead lightly.
Jian Yuan didn't wake up, but it was true, he probably came here on an evening plane, and before he even had time to throw his luggage back to his small apartment, he rushed to the door of Gu Yunkai's apartment, confessed again, drank After drinking a glass of milk, they kissed Gu Yunkai, and then the two of them rolled each other back and forth as if in a dream, like a medicine roller in the hands of Chinese medicine practitioners. They didn't really fall asleep until two or three o'clock.
He has no reason to wake up.
So Gu Yunkai put his morning jogging plan behind him. He slid off the bed, stepped on the corner of his pajama pants and sat on the ground, with his arms stretched out on the soft bedding. His muscles are soft, his eyes are as soft as newly melted honey, and he just looks at Jian Yuan motionlessly, as if a witch just came and cast a magic that stops time.
Humans are shallow and mysterious creatures.
Gu Yunkai's fingers softly caressed Jian Yuan's cheeks, deep eye sockets, high nose bridge, and hard cheekbones lurking under the fleshy skin, it was hard to feel it, the hot breath from the tip of the nose, together with the plump and ruddy Lips, God created man may not be so perfect.
He is mysterious and graceful like the incarnation of all fantasies. Why do human beings become so passionate because of another person that they can't control themselves.
It's really unreasonable.
Maybe the little fox is right, there are tens of thousands of people in the world, none of them special, Jian Yuan is like an ordinary young man who can be seen everywhere; but when a feeling is poured into them, when Gu Yunkai needs Jian Yuan At that time, this person was unique, and maybe there will be more and better people in the future, but none of them are named Jian Yuan.
Nor would it be Gu Yunkai's Jian Yuan.
Gu Yunkai suddenly began to panic, his fingers slowly slipped down, and tightly grasped the thick wrist of the sleeping man. Fear and cowardice of realizing the loss, he had never loved anyone more than himself, Gu Jianyue is like this, Sharp is like this, Wen Jingan is like this, losing them will not make Gu Yunkai heartbroken, it will only make his head hurt, he will feel guilty about Gu Jianyue, but he doesn't mind; losing Sharp It will make him regretful, and losing Wen Jingan will make him tired, but none of these people cannot be replaced.
Just like a luxury in life, it is rare to buy, and it will feel distressed and irritated when it is scratched, but it will not make you crazy to the point of no cure.
But Jane will.
"I love you."
Gu Yunkai said softly.
Reason finally defeated lust, Gu Yunkai used his strength on the bed to finally prop himself up from the floor, he didn't want to wake Jian Yuan up, so he went down the stairs and went to the bathroom on the first floor to wash his face and take a shower.While brushing his teeth, Gu Yunkai was staring at the smirking man in the mirror in a daze. He didn't quite know when a stranger came to the house. It took him a long time to realize that the man in the mirror was himself.
While washing his face, reason was roaring angrily about his unwise actions in the early morning, alarmistly citing sad realities for him, such as the future where they get together less and leave more, the inevitable scandal with the co-actors when acting, and Some good opportunities need to be hyped, and he and Jian Yuan will eventually drift apart, because of misunderstandings and long-term separations that are too late to explain, as well as reversed working hours.And now he doesn't have enough works, he doesn't have enough background, and he doesn't have enough contacts to be arrogant enough to be open and honest about his interpersonal relationship.
He can't let any reporter harass him like that, it will make Jian Yuan feel bored, so it means that Jian Yuan and him can only be underground lovers, if his friends see Gu Yunkai on the big screen, If there are people chasing stars, Jian Yuan can only smile desolately, and cannot tell anyone that he is dating Gu Yunkai.
Because Jane should never be entangled by those media, interfere with his life, and hinder his footsteps in music.
He can’t even protect Jian Yuan.
These almost rational proposals from a mature social person made Gu Yunkai's heart almost twitching with pain.
No one will guarantee that they will love each other forever. No matter how eternal this relationship is at this moment, time will always wear away a lot of things. Jian Yuan’s life is still very long, and so is his. It means that the future can also be grasped, at least at this moment, when Gu Yunkai looked in the mirror, his heart seemed to fall into a bottomless abyss, he had to grasp it.
Reason beating his brain, scolding him for being unreasonable and unconscious in the middle of the night, but emotion made everything willing with just one sentence.
It's screaming.
I've resisted enough and he said he would!Can you say no to that face? !
Obviously not.
So all the hustle and bustle returned to silence, and the man in the mirror became familiar again. He looked cold and powerful, just like the one Gu Yunkai was most familiar with himself.Sometimes the world is so contradictory. When you want to get something, you must make a loss under certain circumstances.
If he hadn't chosen the career of an actor, maybe he wouldn't have met Jian Yuan, or even fallen in love with Jian Yuan.
But after he chose this path, he had to bear the consequences for every choice in his life. If he couldn't make this relationship public, it would destroy Jian Yuan and him.
If Jian Yuan is surrounded by the media, then Gu Yunkai hopes it is because of the work of that little genius, not a relationship, and he doesn't want anyone to point fingers at his relationship with Jian Yuan.
Building a relationship is difficult, but what is even more difficult is how to maintain it. In comparison, destroying a relationship is much easier.
At about 09:30, Jian Yuan woke up. He was making a fuss upstairs. Gu Yunkai was sitting downstairs drinking milk tea and reading the newspaper. When he heard the loud noise approaching the murder scene, he ran upstairs. He opened the door At that time, Jian Yuan was squinting his eyes and pulling out the drawer of the bedside table. The room was turned into a mess, and he was shocked and speechless.
"Where have you been."
Jian Yuan came over and hugged him naturally, muttering indignantly, leaning all his body weight on Gu Yunkai's body, he dragged his legs, lazily rubbed his cheek, extremely aggrieved and vague Said: "I searched the closet and under the bed, but you are not there." He was still a little confused, his eyes were squinted, and he didn't look too awake.
This can be said to be naive at the level of insanity. Did he think that Gu Yunkai could shrink himself into the bedside table?
He only knows martial arts, not bone shrinking skills.
"I'm downstairs." Gu Yunkai took a deep breath, he stretched out his hand to hold Jian Yuan's neck, and the other party leaned on his shoulder docilely, with a trusting and secure docileness, he kissed this gently The childish ghost's cheek, the other party also kissed loudly, and then suddenly laughed twice, and said sleepily, "I haven't brushed my teeth yet."
Oh my goodness.
Gu Yunkai hugged him, feeling that his heart was about to burst. He couldn't figure out how he could love this bastard so much, and he couldn't figure out how he couldn't love him.
"Go and brush your teeth, I'll make you something to eat."
"Okay——" Jian Yuan dragged his tone, then held Gu Yunkai's face, kissed him on the forehead with his mouth pouted, then lowered his head obediently, and let Gu Yunkai kiss him, only then was he confused He looked around in a daze, and wobbled towards the bathroom.
Gu Yunkai rarely begged for mercy or felt frustrated.
But today when he looked at the ugly-looking bread and fried eggs, he had to succumb to the fact that cooking skills always have to be divided into talent, and the one fried by Jian Yuan is very good, as if they were born to be stuffed in that bread It's the same as in the sandwiches, maybe they weren't born to be stuffed in Gu Yunkai's bread.
Gu Yunkai looked at it with a blank face, and it also had a blank face, with liquid butter and peppered eggs, and a lot of thin slices of meat, staring at Gu Yunkai as if staring into an abyss.
He is just an ordinary person who wants to cook a delicious and nutritious breakfast for his boyfriend in the early morning. He should not be ridiculed by the bread.
It's like that bowl of cereal with too much water.
The question is not whether they are delicious or whether Jian Yuan is willing to eat them, but Gu Yunkai's self-esteem is hurt.
Then Jian Yuan staggered down, and Gu Yunkai succumbed to his culinary skills with lightning speed, and swept those shattered self-esteem into the trash can, letting them howl and cry, waiting The garbage truck will take them away tomorrow.He warmed up the milk tea, prepared pie-like bread, and then sat quietly in his chair, looking calm, rational and impeccable.
"Good morning."
Gu Yunkai smiled, completely unable to tell that he was still fighting with the spatula and bread just now.
"Good morning."
Jian Yuan yawned a lot, and walked down with his head down. He is not short, which made him look a little hunched when he lowered his head, but he is very cute, very cute, very cute.People are so unfair, you are in the bathroom worrying to death about your future, but some people can openly sleep like a pet cat until they wake up naturally and make a mess of your room In the end you have to be courteous to cook for him.
But who cares, when you have such a cute boyfriend, then he only needs to be responsible for the cute part, reason and reality are not the parts he needs to consider, after all, that's what he is... All in all, cute.
Jian Yuan happily enjoyed his breakfast, and then cried without warning during the enjoyment process. It was not the crying of a child who was robbed of candy, but the robbed bear finally came back. A small sob of surprise and panic.Without warning, it means that Gu Yunkai is sure that the breakfast is not so unpalatable—after all, he has eaten his own cooking for so many years, and Jian Yuan did not express any dissatisfaction when he ate cereal last time, but he did not Any signs and reminders, Jian Yuan suddenly cried.
"what happened to you?"
Gu Yunkai was a little at a loss. Adults usually don't cry like this. Most of their cries are exhausted and resigned to their fate. Exhausted, their tears are like a mixture of wet soil that accidentally flowed through a dry river bed .It won't be like Jian Yuan's going all out, hot and hearty.
"I'm sorry." Jian Yuan apologized sobbingly. He couldn't control his hoarse crying, so he hiccupped and apologized. His nose turned red quickly, and he said out of breath, "I don't want to be so childish. , I don't want to... like this." He wiped away the tears from his eyes indiscriminately, until Gu Yunkai grabbed his wrist, he was still crying, as if all the moisture in his body had turned into tears, rolling down to wet tablecloth.
"Uncle said you won't agree to me." Jian Yuan gasped and said, he seemed like he would faint from crying anytime and anywhere, then Gu Yunkai pulled the chair closer and hugged him tightly, before he turned his face Buried on Gu Yunkai's shoulder, his body was twitching non-stop, hot tears soaked into the fabric of the shirt, and Gu Yunkai almost wanted to scream.
"He said, you will think a lot, think that we shouldn't be together, think about your career, my career, even if you like me, you won't agree to me. You won't even ask me if I think about it, wish If you don’t want to, are you willing to take on those futures, and if you’re worried that homophobic people will spurn us, they will act for my own good and help me choose my life.” Jian Yuan’s hands slipped through Gu Yunkai’s armpits. In the past, I hugged him tightly, "But you asked me, you let me choose, but I was very scared, I was so afraid that you would say that."
Gu Yunkai never knew that happiness can also hurt like a knife.
Is your uncle a devil?
He couldn't even tell the joke.
"I lay on the bed and thought about it over and over again. The more I thought about it, the more worried I became. If you rejected me, I don't know whether you rejected me because you were worried about me, or because you really didn't like me." Jane Yuan didn't cry much, maybe it was because of too many tears, the wet place on Gu Yunkai's shoulders was already getting cold, and his voice was still strong nasally, "Then I won't know that I should continue to pursue you , I should give up on you. I am very afraid of missing you, and I am also afraid that I will become the one who troubles you in your heart, and you have no one to talk about except me. "
"My worst fear is that I, too, will become one of those people who make you feel sick and bored and can't say it."
Gu Yunkai hugged Jian Yuan tightly, not knowing whether the bitterness in his chest was distressed or something else, there was a time when he arrogantly felt that he loved this big boy more than anything else in the world , he thought this was already a lot, he was the one who gave more in this relationship, he didn't think about it...or never planned to think about it, or perhaps his arrogance covered his eyes.
After a long time, Gu Yunkai has been hugging Jian Yuan, sticking to it like a pier where ships are moored and will never leave. He comforts Jian Yuan, gently stroking his neck over and over again. With the curly hair on the back of the head, the voice warmly and powerfully assured: "No, never."
Then when he tried to let go of this embrace, Jian Yuan tightened his arms to prevent Gu Yunkai from breaking free. He said sullenly, "I'm ugly when I cry, I don't want to be seen by you."
"It's okay." Gu Yunkai broke away gently, he held Jian Yuan's chin with one hand, their foreheads were facing each other, the young man was crying miserably, his eyes were red, and tears were scratched everywhere , was wiped away by the rude movements, dried up on the cheeks, the eyelashes were entwined with tears, and the eyeballs soaked in tears were like washed diamonds, shining under the light, mixed with shame and embarrassment, He seems to have nothing to do with beauty, cleanliness, and elegance, but Gu Yunkai loves him so much, more than anyone else in the world.
Gu Yunkai looked at him, really not knowing what to do.
He whispered: "If I really said those words, what should I do?"
Gu Yunkai gently stroked Jian Yuan's cheeks, feeling sad for the confusion that would never appear again, his fingers wiped away the tears that were about to overflow from the other party, his expression was so bewildered that it was almost full of sadness, like a person who had almost encountered a car accident Fearing that the person came late, he said gently: "If I really said that, how can I save you for my arrogance, and how can I get your forgiveness."
If earlier, Gu Yunkai hadn't experienced those two heart-to-heart talks and hadn't made up his mind to change his life, then he would have thought so.He would think about the way ahead before those joys and pleasures strolled, but he couldn't do it, Sharp's words kept hurting the back of his head.
"You don't even have an ego."
"Who is angry and remembers to save face..."
Sometimes Gu Yunkai didn't know what he was trying to do. He was very successful in life, but he was a failure in life. He didn't have any emotional burden. He thought it was a kind of success, but in fact it wasn't.He couldn't find someone who made him better, or someone who came and didn't care, but now he found...
Gu Yunkai has been sober since that night. He is always bound by success. He likes to struggle, to make progress, and to stand tall. Make any sacrifices for that, and there's something wrong with that.He rejected the unspoken rules and rejected Qiao Fanchen not because he was so clean, but because he respected the original owner of this body, and because he wanted to take care of his beloved sister for the deceased.
He has already occupied the life of the deceased, so he must give the other party equal compensation and respect.
That's why Gu Yunkai will work hard to change. He accepts that Sharp and Wen Jingan have become his special friends, accepts Wen Jingan's troubles, patiently enlightens him, endures Sharp's truth like a needle, and thinks whether he should change himself , he got more things than he thought, so he no longer sticks to those things that need to be considered, but compromises and asks Jane Yuan if he can accept those conditions.
"Then I will ask you." Jian Yuan held his hand, with tears in his eyes, suddenly laughed, and choked up, "Are you worried about me? Don't regret what you said, just like a Brazen bastard, like a brat who refuses to admit defeat, pesters you until I feel that you are really angry, and then I accept my fate."
"Then I will regret it."
Gu Yunkai laughed lightly, he was suddenly thankful that he did not do anything that would make him regret his whole life during that dreamlike time, he kissed the curly hair of this big boy lightly, kissed those pair of eyes Red eyes, kissing those soft lips without any desire, like kissing the first rose in the morning, as pious and moving as kissing the hands of God.
Then he pressed his forehead against his forehead, and his eyes met.
"I just thought about a lot of things in the bathroom. I thought about how I can be worthy of you. I thought about how you shouldn't be mobbed by the media because of my scandal. I thought about what we would do if we were together. I I have thought about many, many problems that we will solve when we are together, but the only thing I haven’t thought about is if we are not together.”
"But we can't make it public." Gu Yunkai's face quickly turned sad, "I don't want you to be besieged by the media, I guarantee that this is what I think of first, and then I think that my career is still moving forward, I haven't had enough The strength supports me to disclose this matter, supports me to protect you, if I tell the media that I have a relationship, they will dig out you."
Jian Yuan blinked, completely understood the meaning of his words, and said softly: "I know, I understand." He nodded, "I believe you."
"But I can promise you." Gu Yunkai said calmly, "I won't stir up scandals with anyone, I will clarify to everyone that I will not and do not plan to develop relationships with anyone in the circle that the media will love to see. , until the day I can say it. I don’t value career more than you, if there is no career... I still don’t deserve you now, right? You know that’s not my excuse.”
"I know."
Jian Yuan wiped his face indiscriminately, then withdrew his body, jumped up from the chair and rushed to his luggage bag. He sniffled and squatted there like a giant whimpering dog.
"what happened?"
Gu Yunkai was a little worried. He glanced at the half-eaten bread that had gone cold, and couldn't help sighing, not sure whether he should put it back in the microwave to warm it up or just leave it as it is.
"this."
Jian Yuan didn't look so miserable anymore, he took out a gift box the size of an ordinary album and handed it to Gu Yunkai, suddenly asked: "Do I look ugly now?" He rubbed it with his sleeve Gu Yunkai looked at him, couldn't help laughing again, then took a tissue to wipe him, and shook his head.
"Shaking your head means it's ugly or not too ugly."
"It means that I am also terribly uncomfortable because of you."
Gu Yunkai did not take the gift box of the video that was two dates late, and he had already got the best thing at this moment, so his interest and surprise in this video was naturally much less.He motioned to put the box on the table, then threw the paper towel into the trash can, stood up and said, "No, I have to find you a wet towel, now you finish the bread and drink the milk tea, I want to heat it up for you ?"
Jian Yuan nodded obediently, then shook his head and said, "No need."
So Gu Yunkai went into the bathroom with peace of mind, rummaged through the bathroom cabinet and found a new towel, the gray-blue one he used to use, after thinking about it, he dug out an almond-colored towel for Jian Yuan and soaked it warm After wringing out the water, he went out and handed it to the person sitting on the chair, and then stood there with the chair supported, like a bystander.
"Aren't you going to sit down?"
Jian Yuan buried his face in the hot towel, he rubbed his face, then poked out two red eyes to look at Gu Yunkai.Gu Yunkai blinked, pursed his lips and smiled, "No, I'll just stand like this, so that you can come and hug me anytime and anywhere." Jian Yuan sniffled, then nodded, put the hot towel obediently Handed it back to Gu Yunkai, like a child handing a towel to his kindergarten teacher after washing his face.
Gu Yunkai hung it back to its original position, and when he came out again, Jian Yuan was already washing the dishes, besides the dishes, there was also the pot and chopsticks that had been rubbed with butter.
"Did I bother you just now?"
With his back turned to him, Jian Yuan was probably doing his best to wash the dishes, his posture looked like he was butchering a pig, his nasal voice was still heavy, and he stumbled and said: "I don't know very well, and I don't really know, you have always been good to me, but I don't seem to have given you anything in return, do you want to get along with more mature people, I know that everyone doesn't like trouble caused by others, right?"
He had regained his composure, and the shame had begun to regenerate.
"You've made me a better person."
Gu Yunkai leaned against the wall. He folded his arms and leaned his head lightly against the cold tiles. The May sky was already warming up, but that warmth was not due to the weather, but from the inside of his chest. The rib that spread out, which was almost broken, regained its calm, guarding the chest safely.
He looked at Jian Yuan's back from behind, as if he saw every morning in the future, and said softly.
"You've made me more than just a human being."
"It wasn't your thing to do, but now it is."
The author has something to say:
Jian Mo: Uncle is so angry! ! !
I'm sorry Uncle, I designed for you an abuse meme in a TV series that was good for you, but I didn't give you the same ending [funny]